Zeke has advanced cancer

My day started out normal, with a cloudy walk before school with Hansel. I could see lightning toward Tombstone.  It was 60F; a pleasant morning.

Today was the earliest I could have Zeke examined for his weight loss. The DVMs are booked two weeks out.  

Zeke's appointment with Dr Moffett was at 4:30, although we waited another 20 minutes in the exam room. She came in to do the cursory heart-and-lung exam, told me he had a heart murmur (?!?!?!) and a tight abdomen and gave me further options: do an Xray, and then a blood test if the Xray was inconclusive.  I.  requested both work done.

I had to coax Zeke to go with Dr Moffett to the Xray room.  He seemed unsure without me.  I went back to the exam room and waited for the result.  It didn't take long.

Dr M didn't look happy when she came back to me with the x-ray.  I knew immediately this was not good news. She saw fluids and gas in his abdomen. The fluids are common in abdominal cancers, she explained, and the tight abdomen full of fluids was the body's way of fighting back. She couldn't say what exact cancer it was, but blood tests revealed he is now anemic (thus the lethargy) His white blood counts were extremely high.

She looked at me with despair and told me Zeke had advanced cancer.  She did not say terminal cancer, but at this point what is the difference between the two?  I looked at Zeke who returned his gaze with that ever-devoted look of love and I momentarily lost it.  Dr Moffett reached out to hug me to say she was sorry, but this cancer was certainly not her fault.

The reality that I am losing Zeke hit me hard. Why Zeke?  He's only ten years old.

Prognosis is days to weeks for Zeke. There isn't much more she can recommend besides steroids to help the organs fight back. This is only temporary, though as the cancer will kill him.

  I'm not ready to let Zeke go; he's not in pain yet and still has an appetite. I gave Zeke his first dosage of prednisone when I got home.  I must now prepare myself for the inevitable goodbye.

All year long I worried about Sadie, who is still hanging on, walking to the backyard and back for her bathroom breaks and lining up for chicken jerky treats.. She is sometimes weak in the rear legs, but still has her appetite and mobility.

What a wonderful hiking and traveling dog he was. I wish he had four more years with me...