First walk with Susan along the river

I had missed the river walks with Susan and her dog Allie.  My dogs really like her.  Sometimes we meet Bob, another dog walker who lives near the river, and then there are seven offleash dogs around us when we come together to talk.  Bob then takes off with his Golden retrievers for a big lap around the field.  He's a fast hiker.

Today's homecoming was bittersweet, though.  Susan didn't tell me this while I was on my roadtrip, but her husband Randal, who turns 73 tomorrow, was diagnosed in early June with metastatic lung cancer.  Susan had mentioned many times how grumpy he had become and wasn't feeling very good.  It turns out the pain he has had in his stomach is from cancer.  Doctors are saying he has weeks or months to live. He had one round of chemotherapy but his body couldn't handle it.  His hair fell out right away, he lost his sense of smell and taste, and can barely keep any food down.  He's still smoking (and drinking his whiskey) but now has painful sores in his mouth. He is in home hospice, drugged up with morphine to dull the pain.

Randal served six months in Vietnam in 1966 and was never the same once he got back.  All his life he has had health issues related to his exposure to Agent Orange, including previous bouts with lung cancer.  The odd thing is, his last  cat scan in April came back cancer-free, but by June the cancer was back.

What do you say to a dear friend whose husband is dying?  All I can do is be there for her.  We hugged when we got together at 4:30pm and then talked about Randal, his struggles with the Department of Veterans' Affairs (VA) and the reluctance in treatment or compensation the VA gives its Vietnam Veterans.  Years of fighting with compensation, treatment, etc and he was finally rewarded $40,000, but it came too late to help him.

It was a quiet, slow walk today.  It was Susan's turn to talk, and I could tell she is in pain, too.  Death and dying affects the survivors as much as it does the dying.  She is a spry 71 years old and in great health, but now she will have to plan the rest of her life without her husband of 20 years.  The dogs chased each other, splashed in the river (which wasn't as full as I had expected, with several heavy rain storms this month) and barked with joy as Susan and I slowly moved along.  The two-mile loop took us 90 minutes because we'd stop for the dogs, let them play, and then slowly moved on.
Even Minnie did well today and wobbled along. The sky was overcast, befitting the mood.

Susan promised me to give herself time to walk with Allie as much as she can during these trying times.  She, too, needs someone to be there for her, even if it's only for a short 20-minute walk.  I know she will have days when she can not make it, or Randal has an especially bad day, or she may be too exhausted to even get out of the house.  I will give her the space she needs, but I promised her I will be there for her whenever she needs me in these next weeks.