Tuesday, July 21, 2020

Last day in Indiana

It was a quiet morning.  Normally Carol is up by now, talking to her aide. This time I woke up to silence.  I grabbed a bill that Carol had written a check for and made walking to the post office in town my walk for the morning, passing yet another long line of cars and trucks heading out to work.  My plan today was to see Ethan and the boys in the morning, and Carol in the late afternoon.

I got to Ethan's house at 10am.  Ethan was busy on his phone watching silly videos on his social media account, showing me a few ones starring a popular Chinese man doing dumb things like wrap his head in plastic foil.  Ethan has now also become an account user posting short videos he makes using songs.  He can sit on the couch, pet Macks with his left hand and post videos with his right hand.

I ordered a pizza from Verano's at 11am,  We drove down to pick it up and eat it back on the patio, just as a short rain shower blew through.  I left that pizza there for the others when I left at 4:30pm.  Owen and Ben were next door playing with the neighbors' girls and I never had a proper good-bye with them.  I did hug Nick one last time and bid him well.

I had told Carol I'd come by around 5pm and made it there at 5:20pm, parked in the shade for Zeke.  It was cooler and overcast today over yesterday.  Carol had finally gotten a room on the fifth floor and was looking much better when I walked in.  Nothing major was wrong, she said, even her kidneys were fine.  So what caused her to collapse yesterday?  No idea, she said.

The visit was just long enough for me.  I hate good-byes but this one was a little emotional for me.  Will I ever see Carol alive again?  This is her sixth hospital visit in a year and her family is pushing hard to have her moved in an assistant-living home, but Carol is standing firm on this one.  She refuses to move into one.  Afterall, her older sister Marge is still living in her home and she, too, has 24-hour in-home care.  Those two women will compete till the end as to who outlives whom.  If Carol had taken much better care of her weight years ago, she could have the advantage, but now I doubt it. She had always depended on others to do things for her, like get the mail, refill her water glass.  When my dad was alive, he did everything for her.

Her dependence on others and her disdain for exercise is now coming back to haunt her. Her legs are permanently bluish from the lymphedema in both of her legs, caused by her diabetes.  Her heart is strained by the effort needed to walk. She's lost a lot of weight, though.  Last year, I discovered, she weighed 312 pounds for her 5'4" frame.  Her last recorded weight was Sunday at 192 pounds.  She weighed 180 pounds when she married my dad in 1984 but now she has big folds of loose skin where fat once filled it in.

It was a stressful way to end my visit in Indiana.  I'm worried about my stepmom, I am worried about Ethan and his relationship to Nick and his biological father Wayne.  He's entering the rebellious teen years soon and has become the social media using stereotype of an American middle schooler.  I'm glad he and I were able to do a few hikes together.  I only hope now we can continue to explore nature together on subsequent visits.  But where would I stay on subsequent visits?  I feel awkward staying at Erin's place for more than a week or two.  Six weeks or even a month with a dog may be too much in that busy household.

I finished the night with a visit to Sam's Club, then gassed up for $1.92/gallon, then stopped by Old Chicago, where I had a tasty cheese manicotti with two different beers.  Customers sat more than six feet away from other groups.  Some non-eaters/drinkers were even wearing face masks, as were the employees. It was a pleasant, non-humid night.  I wish I had had more such nights while here.  I'll never get used to high humidity.

I washed my clothes, packed, washed dishes and put everything away as much as possible. It rained again late at night.  The grass here has gotten much greener this past week.

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