The muse to this blog has died.
I knew this day was coming. Sadie was getting weaker this last month and had trouble staying upright while walking. It was no longer just her right rear ankle that would give way, but her entire leg. It was a struggle to stay upright. But until the very end, she had her appetite and drank her water. I always made sure she had that extra large can of chicken and rice dog food.
She had died in the bedroom, where she always enjoyed sleeping when we still had a house. She was 14 years and three months old. She died of old age in the end. Her heart simply quit.
She lived a good life with me, traveling all over the western and mid-western states, always wanting to hike. She was my most traveled dog and traveled well, and an excellent guard dog.
She was a full-bred German Shepherd Dog. Kevin got her for me in June 2008 by paying half her adoption fee. He knew I had always wanted a German Shepherd Dog since coming back from Iraq.
My only regret is that I was not by her side when she passed. Looking back now, I realize that Sadie's health was fading in the last week, when she moved from her favorite spot along the backyard fence to back into the bedroom, a place she's known and been comfortable with all her life. Our bedroom was her safe place. The other dogs didn't bother her there.
Kevin wanted both Sadie and Minnie put down years ago since both had trouble walking. But I didn't see the need as long as they weren't in any pain. Minnie's meds right now are regulating her heart and she breathes better, with much less panting. This morning she welcomed me when I went into the house to feed the pack and refill the water both in the water bucket and in the doggie pool. She's lost some weight and looks healthier, too, but her tumor is still there around her anus.
Sadie's good health began to fade over four years ago. She started her slow decline a few months after returning from Alaska, when her dementia became noticeable. In late 2018 she started having trouble walking without her hind legs giving way. I even remember her last walk away from the house, and that was Christmas Eve 2020 by the river with Susan, Allie, Minnie and Zeke. I knew then that that would be her last walk with the pack. I never forced her to come along for walks after that, nor did she show much interest in joining me past the walk to the side gate. My ageless Superdog hiking companion was finally getting old. For 2.5 years Sadie's world was her backyard. Her hip dysplasia developed, a fatty mass grew on her abdomen and in the last year she lost muscle mass. She was fur and bones the past six months. I was amazed she lived for as long as she did.
The house has been quiet all day. There was no loud barking from the pack overnight, or sundowning from Sadie. She was near blind and deaf the last few weeks and never answered me when I called for her, but she still had her sense of smell. I had to come right up to her with a can of her favorite chicken and rice dog food for her to recognize me.
Her aging heart must have just given up. Her body could no longer keep up. It was her time to go. My stick fetching, chicken-eating hiking dog and enthusiastic spokesdog for the pack is no more.
***
I did my share of crying over the course of the day. While I knew this day was coming, I also knew Sadie's death would also mean the end of an era. Sadie was one gift from Kevin that meant a lot to me. He was not much of a gift-giving person, so the few things he gave me have sentimental value.
I grieved all day, but had other things to deal with to take my mind off my usual obsessive thoughts. I surfed through Facebook as I do every morning, reading about the suicide of local news reporter Zach Bennett. He was only 26 years old. His passion was to follow the police scanner and take photos of accident scenes, fires and human trafficking. He apparently fought his demons from a rough childhood on the west side of town. In Ocobert 2013, at 17 years old, he was arrested for being part of a gang of teens vandalising cars: breaking car windows, throwing rocks at house windows, and setting fires. My Ford Escape had the left rear window broken into at that same time. He graduated from the local high school in 2014, but because of his felony record he was not allowed to get certified as an EMT first responder, for which he took classes. He was one of the founders of the Sierra Vista News Network (SVNN) and was active on his Facebook page by the same name.
The RV was quickly warming up, reaching 98F by late morning. I needed to find relief. The Uhaul place called me in the late morning to let me know I had left the storage shed open when I stopped by yesterday to drop off more stuff from the house. I went there to close it properly. When I asked the attendant why I wasn't called about this error on my end yesterday when I was there dropping off more stuff, the kurt reply was that it was my fault the door was left open. When I asked about their advertised 24-hour surveillance, the man got snippy and said "don't be pointing that finger at me" allegorically. If the place advertises 24-hour surveillance, shouldn't I have been notified sooner of my mistake? I never got an answer.
I had the dogs with me, along with a load of clothes I wanted washed after my trip to the UHaul place. This gave the dogs a chance to ride in an air-conditioned vehicle. On my drive to Bisbee, the Carnett Clinic called to let me know that my bloodwork from yesterday showed a big improvement over the bloodwork from last October, and to continue doing what I'm doing.
I stayed at the laundromat just long enough to wash the load of clothes. I had a beer next door, sitting outside with my dogs because I didn't want Gretchen to bully the sleeping border collie inside the brewery. Instead I had an interesting conversation with a smoker who claims he suffers from PTSD working law enforcement in the county. The longer we chatted, the more he revealed about his life and his evil stepfather who is keeping him from having a normal relationship with his mother. It was a conversation that was mostly one-sided with him doing all the talking.
Susan invited me over in the afternoon, and I took her up on the offer. She knew I was grieving for Sadie, but she also wanted to give my two RV dogs a chance to relax in her cool garden. I ended up staying there for over six hours, walking Sweetie and Gretchen on her four acres and then across the street on some open land that Susan has used to walk Allie. It was a lovely evening that took my mind off my grief, as the first semblance of rain developed. We could see virga clouds at sunset, creating pretty pastel pinks along the horizon.
We both got excited about rain after sunset. Susan checked her weather app and it showed a storm cell coming from Mexico, moving quickly to the northeast. Wind picked up and the smell of desert moisture filled the air. She got excited when we felt a few rain drops while sitting on her patio. Her flagstone got wet but it wasn't a saturating rain at all. At least it is a good start.
It was soothing to see Sweetie and Gretchen so relaxed. Sweetie is slowing down now, but she got a good mile in walking around Susan's land, then napping on the cool patio. She is a dog with few demands.
I was back home again shortly after 10pm, again to a quiet house with no barking. The winds continued, but there was no sign of rain on my little parcel of land.
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