Carol Wallace has died

I learned the news from Denise via Facebook. She died this morning.

I knew the end was near when Liz said on Friday that Carol is now blind from the brain cancer and the Hospice caregivers told her husband Chip that the end was near. I thought about her all weekend, hoping she could hang on until I came by to see her again. I even thought about her this morning while walking the dogs along a wash to the San Pedro River to check out the water level. (It's still below last year's level) The monsoons haven't been as strong this year and even were gone all last week until Friday. I had to cancel any plans of hiking up Carr Canyon Road to watch the moon rise.

I lost a dear friend with Carol's passing. She was the one who encouraged me to volunteer at the animal shelter and because of her I stayed on even when things there got rough with the killings. Having her there always cheered me up. I wish I could have been there in her last days, but she seemed upset to always see me when I came by to drop off cat food.

I am numb with the loss, but it will kick in. I knew her end was near, saying to myself that this August I would lose both her and Eric as he joins the US Air Force. She didn't deserve to leave this Earth so alone. The medical establishment wrote her off as just another old woman who was going to die anyway so it milked her for all she had.

She didn't want to die. But once she lost her mobility with that spinal surgery in April, and then going blind these last few weeks because the brain cancer was eating away at her sight, I know she' had no option but resign to her fate and accept that death was coming.

I just wish she had made peace with her own daughter before leaving this Earth, even though it was her daughter who disowned her.