It's hard letting go...

I am still grieving. Luckily I am still on summer break or else I'd be a mess. I also have to think of Sammy, who continues to lay in the same areas now that Sara once claimed. She loved laying by the front door. Now Sammy fills that spot. He also has been laying on the tile floor of the dining area, near the spot where she died, glancing at the area where she died. Perhaps her scent is still there. If only I had a dog's nose. Or maybe not...

I took Sammy on a mile-long walk today, down the dirt road, across Miller Creek. The recent monsoonal rains once again pushed more flood waters from Miller Creek into peoples' yards and the water has greened up everything. More clouds were forming but they didn't amount to much. Sammy did his usual pee stops and unless he took too long to smell something, I let him be. I must focus on this dog's spirits. He didn't bark at any of the other dogs; he seldom did. The barking was Sara's job.

There is no other dog he's ever been close to besides Sara. When they were both younger they did everything together, never straying from each other's side. He was the brawn and Sara was the brains. When I got back from Iraq both had gained weight and never lost it.

Sara had stopped abruptly on one of her last walks and just froze, looking back and around her as if she wasn't sure where she was. I had to gently pull on her leash and call her name a few times before she walked forward again. That was the walk where she only had energy for one block. When we came back to our street, she pulled toward our house.

Sadie is the next oldest dog but neither Sara nor Sammy bonded with her and Sadie felt like an only child, a loner. Sadie is more bonded to Kevin and me.

Eric told me yesterday he's looking forward to the road trip to California. I had forgotten about that proposal. Now I must live up to my promise as he's depressed, too. And I know I am. At least I'd have Eric to help me with the driving. We will leave early Saturday and spend a week there. The drive there is two days but we could drive non-stop with two night owls at the wheel. We will van camp and stay at the Veteran's Memorial Park in Monterey.

We will also take Sadie and Minnie along. That would leave Sweetie alone with Zeke and Sammy. Sweetie has always left Sammy alone. She's attacked Zeke but more out of self-defense and to let him know to leave her alone. Sweetie has no sense of humor, and "play" so easily can turn into "fight" with her.